Emotional Labour: Who Looks After the DEIB Leaders?
Written by Hannah Wilson
Founder and Director of the Belonging Effect (formerly Diverse Educators).
DEIB (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging) leaders are often positioned as the moral and emotional anchors of their organisations. They are asked to hold space for harm, advocate for systemic change, educate others, and respond to crises – frequently while navigating their own lived experiences of marginalisation.
Yet a critical question is often overlooked: who looks after them?
As organisations expand their DEIB commitments, many are failing to invest in the sustainability of the people doing this work. The result is a growing pattern of compassion fatigue, burnout, and attrition among DEIB leaders – costly not only to individuals, but to organisations themselves.
The Unique Load DEIB Leaders Carry
DEIB leadership is not just strategic or operational work – it is deeply relational and emotional. DEIB leaders are often:
- Exposed to repeated accounts of trauma and discrimination
- Expected to respond calmly to resistance, denial, or hostility
- Asked to educate while also advocating
- Share their lived-experience honestly, vulnerably and generously
- Positioned as both insiders and outsiders within organisations
- Hold responsibility without proportional authority or resourcing
This cumulative load is rarely acknowledged in job descriptions, performance metrics, or wellbeing strategies.
Compassion Fatigue Is Not a Personal Failing
Compassion fatigue occurs when sustained exposure to others’ distress depletes emotional and psychological resources. For DEIB leaders, this can show up as:
- Emotional exhaustion or numbness
- Reduced empathy or motivation
- Cynicism about organisational change
- Withdrawal from relationships or work
Importantly, compassion fatigue is not a lack of resilience or commitment. It is a predictable response to prolonged emotional labour without adequate support.
Burnout and the DEIB Attrition Problem
When compassion fatigue is left unaddressed, it often leads to burnout – characterised by exhaustion, detachment, and a sense of ineffectiveness. Many DEIB leaders respond by leaving their roles, shifting careers, or exiting organisations altogether.
This attrition creates a revolving door effect on the DEIB strategy:
- Knowledge and trust are lost
- Strategies stall or reset
- Work is redistributed to other leaders to carry even more load
Organisations then misdiagnose the issue as a “pipeline problem” rather than a care and support problem.
Coaching, Mentoring, and Supervision as Sources of Support
Supporting DEIB leaders requires intentional structures, not just wellness slogans.
Coaching: Provides a confidential space focused on leadership development, boundaries, decision-making, and navigating organisational complexity. Coaches can help DEIB leaders reconnect with agency and clarity.
Mentoring: Offers relational support and wisdom-sharing, particularly valuable when mentors have lived experience or have navigated similar organisational terrain. Mentoring reduces isolation and normalises challenges.
Supervision: Creates structured reflective space to process emotional impact, ethical dilemmas, and role strain. For DEIB leaders, supervision can be critical in preventing compassion fatigue and burnout.
These supports are not interchangeable – and ideally, DEIB leaders should have access to more than one.
What Organisations Need to Do Differently
If organisations are serious about DEIB, they must be equally serious about caring for the people leading it. This includes:
- Funding coaching, mentoring, and supervision as core role supports
- Normalising emotional labour as part of DEIB work
- Building realistic expectations and boundaries into roles
- Sharing responsibility for DEIB across leadership – not isolating it
- Measuring sustainability, not just activity
Care is not a “nice to have.” It is a strategic necessity.
Looking After the People Who Hold the Work
DEIB leaders are often asked to model empathy, courage, and humanity in systems that do not always return those qualities. If we want DEIB work to endure – rather than burn people out – we must shift from extraction to care, containment, and collective responsibility.
Looking after DEIB leaders is not separate from DEIB work. It is DEIB work.
Holding Space Without Burning Out: Understanding Compassion Fatigue and How We Safeguard Ourselves
Written by Hannah Wilson
Founder and Director of the Belonging Effect (formerly Diverse Educators).
In caring professions – and in deeply relational roles – holding space for others is sacred work. Whether you are a therapist, coach, nurse, social worker, teacher, spiritual leader, or simply the person everyone turns to in crisis, you are entrusted with stories that carry pain, trauma, grief, and vulnerability. But holding space comes at a cost if we do not tend to ourselves. Compassion fatigue is not a failure of resilience. It is often the natural consequence of caring deeply in the presence of trauma. And safeguarding ourselves is not selfish – it is ethical.
What Is Compassion Fatigue?
Compassion fatigue is the emotional and physical exhaustion that can develop when we are repeatedly exposed to others’ suffering. It is sometimes described as the “cost of caring.” Unlike burnout, which develops from chronic workplace stress and systemic pressures, compassion fatigue is closely tied to exposure to trauma – directly or indirectly. Over time, witnessing others’ pain can begin to shift our nervous system, our worldview, and even our sense of safety.
You may notice:
- Emotional numbness or irritability
- Difficulty concentrating
- A reduced sense of empathy
- Sleep disturbances
- Feeling overwhelmed or depleted
- Intrusive thoughts about clients or stories you have heard
For those working with trauma survivors, there is also the risk of vicarious trauma – a cumulative shift in our internal world as we absorb repeated accounts of trauma. This does not mean we are weak. It means we are human.
Trauma Exposure Changes the Nervous System
When we hold space for trauma, our nervous system is activated. Even if the trauma did not happen to us, our body often responds as if it were present. We may feel tightness in the chest, shallow breathing, or a subtle hypervigilance. Without intentional processing, these responses accumulate. Over time, the body may stay in a low-level stress response.
If we are not aware of this, we may:
- Over-identify with others’ pain
- Carry stories home with us
- Lose perspective
- Begin to feel helpless or hopeless
The more attuned we are, the more we are affected. This is why safeguarding ourselves must be woven into our professional practice – not treated as an afterthought.
Safeguard 1: Supervision Is Not Optional
Clinical supervision, reflective practice, or professional consultation is one of the most protective factors against compassion fatigue.
Supervision provides:
- A space to process emotional responses
- Containment for complex trauma material
- Ethical guidance and accountability
- Perspective when we feel stuck
- A reminder that we are not alone
Without supervision, helpers can become isolated in their internal processing. Isolation amplifies stress. Supervision is not a sign that we cannot cope. It is a commitment to sustainability and ethical care.
Safeguard 2: Structured Decompression
We cannot repeatedly hold intense emotional material and then immediately switch into “normal life” without impact. Decompression is the intentional act of transitioning your nervous system from holding space to rest and regulation.
This might include:
- A short walk after sessions
- Breathwork or grounding exercises
- Journaling to externalize what you are carrying
- Washing your hands as a symbolic reset
- Listening to music during the commute home
- Physical movement to release stored tension
Decompression rituals matter because they signal to the body: the work is done for now. Without this signal, the body continues to hold.
Safeguard 3: Trauma-Informed Self-Awareness
When we support others through trauma, our own unresolved experiences can be activated. This is not a flaw – it is part of being relational beings. But awareness is essential.
Ask yourself:
- What stories trigger me most strongly?
- Where do I feel this work in my body?
- Am I rescuing, over-functioning, or overextending?
- What feels harder lately?
Personal therapy, peer support, and reflective practice are powerful forms of safeguarding. We cannot ethically hold others’ trauma if we refuse to tend to our own.
Safeguard 4: Boundaries as Compassion
Boundaries are often misunderstood as distancing. In reality, they are what allow us to remain compassionate.
Healthy boundaries include:
- Clear session limits
- Defined availability
- Emotional differentiation (“This is not mine to carry”)
- Saying no when capacity is exceeded
Boundaries protect empathy from erosion. When we overextend, resentment follows. When resentment builds, compassion shrinks. Boundaries preserve our ability to care.
Safeguard 5: Rest Is Clinical
Rest is not indulgent. It is restorative. Sleep, play, connection, creativity, nature, laughter – these are not luxuries. They are protective factors against trauma exposure.
When we normalise exhaustion as “part of the job,” we risk normalising harm to ourselves. The quality of care we offer is directly linked to the state of our nervous system.
Sustainable Compassion
Holding space is courageous work. It requires presence, empathy, and the willingness to sit in discomfort without turning away. But sustainable compassion requires something equally important: self-protection.
We safeguard ourselves from compassion fatigue through five commitments:
- Supervision
- Decompression rituals
- Trauma-informed self-awareness
- Boundaries
- Rest
When we protect our nervous systems, we protect our ability to continue showing up. Compassion fatigue does not mean you are incapable. It means you care. And caring, when supported, can remain a powerful and sustainable force.
Pregnancy Loss in Education: Breaking the Silence, Structures and Support
Written by Morgan Whitfield
Morgan Whitfield is an experienced senior leader and professional development consultant who advocates high-challenge learning. Morgan hails from Canada and has taken on such roles as Director of Teaching and Learning, Head of Sixth Form, Head of Humanities and Head of Scholars. Her book Gifted? The Shift to Enrichment, Challenge and Equity, reframed “gifted” education as a mandate to provide enrichment and challenge for all students. She is a passionate advocate for equity in education, a BSO inspector, radio show host and mother of three brilliant little ones. Morgan has worked with schools across the Middle East, Asia and the UK and currently lives in Vietnam.
I remember the day I had to tell senior leadership that I needed to leave lessons and go to the doctor because I was bleeding. I sent out cover work in the hospital waiting room. Later, I had to tell the same colleagues that I would no longer need maternity leave. The conversations were devastating. The classroom kept moving forward, yet I was stalled. I am not alone in this.
Pregnancy loss is often described as a silent grief. For women in education, the silence is compounded by the relentless rhythm of school life. Our jobs involve performance, we must be the support for our students, and this demands our complete mental and emotional presence. Teachers are expected to stand in front of classes, to smile and be steady, even when their personal lives are marked by loss. With women making up three-quarters of the education workforce in the UK (DfE, 2022), the absence of open conversation about pregnancy loss is striking.
I have been there with colleagues through the heartbreak of miscarriage, and through the long, uncertain path of fertility treatments. One colleague once asked for a mental health day on what would have been her due date, a vivid reminder that grief is not linear and anniversaries bring waves of pain. Another shared the exhausting cycle of appointments, medications, and pregnancy tests that defined her attempts to conceive. These stories are part of school life, but they are rarely spoken aloud or formally recognised in policy.
Why Pregnancy Loss Matters in Education
Most schools have no specific structures or training in place to guide leaders or support staff. Teachers can feel forced to suppress grief in order to keep lessons going. When this happens, schools risk not only the wellbeing of staff but also the culture of care that should define education.
Pregnancy loss is both a medical event and a profound emotional rupture. Physically, it can involve surgery, recovery, and the exhaustion that follows. Emotionally, it brings grief for a future imagined but never lived. The disconnect between the devastation inside and the professionalism demanded outside can be unbearable. Without recognition or space, teachers risk feeling invisible in their grief.
Supporting staff through pregnancy loss and fertility journeys requires compassion and clarity. Three areas stand out:
- Policy and Procedure
Schools should establish clear leave policies that explicitly cover pregnancy loss at every stage and ensure staff understand their entitlements. Leadership need practical guidance on responding with sensitivity so that no member of staff feels dismissed. It is equally important that counselling and wider wellbeing services are easy to access and signposted without stigma.
- Culture and Conversation
A supportive culture begins with openly acknowledging pregnancy loss within staff wellbeing policies rather than treating it as a taboo subject. Leaders should be trained to respond with empathy and avoid minimising comments such as “at least you were not far along” or “at least you can try again”. Schools can recognise that grief can resurface around anniversaries of loss and offer staff the flexibility they need at these times.
- Practical Wellbeing Support
Staff deserve practical arrangements that help them re-enter work at a pace that feels manageable, such as phased timetables or temporary workload adjustments. Schools should protect time for medical appointments and mental health recovery. Peer networks or mentoring can provide a valuable source of connection and understanding for those navigating pregnancy loss or fertility treatment.
Workplace pledges, such as those promoted by the Miscarriage Association, provide clear frameworks that schools can adapt. These signal that loss will be handled with dignity and consistency, rather than silence and improvisation.
Schools often pride themselves on teaching empathy to children. We must apply the same principle to one another. Pregnancy loss and fertility journeys should not be taboo in education. When schools speak about them openly, they dismantle stigma. When institutions act with compassion, they protect not only the colleague in pain but also the integrity of the profession. Looking back, what made the difference for me were tangible acts. A colleague who offered to cover a lesson when I needed space. A quiet word that acknowledged my grief as real. These should be built into the school’s structures through purposeful policy and sensitive implementation.
References
Department for Education (DfE) (2022) School workforce in England: Reporting year 2022. Available at: https://explore-education-statistics.service.gov.uk (Accessed: 26 September 2025).
Education Support (2022) Teacher wellbeing index 2022. London: Education Support.
Miscarriage Association (n.d.) Pregnancy loss in the workplace: Guidance and charter. Available at: https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/miscarriage-and-the-workplace/the-pregnancy-loss-pledge/ (Accessed: 26 September 2025).
Creating Psychological Safety in Schools: Building Trust for Pupils, Staff, and Parents
Written by Hannah Wilson
Founder and Director of the Belonging Effect (formerly Diverse Educators).
In a world that is constantly changing, schools are being asked to do more than ever before. They are not just places of learning, but communities where young people grow, adults work, and families connect. Yet one essential ingredient often gets overlooked: psychological safety – the sense that it is safe to speak up, make mistakes, ask questions, and be yourself without fear of ridicule or punishment.
Coined by Harvard researcher Amy Edmondson, the term “psychological safety” refers to an environment where people feel respected, included, and confident that their voices matter. While the concept emerged from studies of workplace teams, its relevance to education is profound. Schools that nurture psychological safety for pupils, staff, and parents create the conditions for deeper learning, stronger relationships, and healthier wellbeing across the community.
Psychological Safety for Pupils: A Foundation for Learning
For pupils, learning inherently involves risk – the risk of being wrong, of not understanding, of standing out. When students feel unsafe to fail or to speak up, they disengage, hide their struggles, or act out. When they feel safe, they take intellectual risks, collaborate, and grow.
How schools can build it:
- Normalise mistakes as part of learning: Teachers who model vulnerability (“I don’t know the answer – let’s find out together”) show that uncertainty is not weakness, but curiosity in action.
- Encourage voice and choice: Giving pupils real opportunities to influence classroom norms, projects, or school decisions signals respect for their perspective.
- Respond to behaviour with empathy: Instead of “What’s wrong with you?”, try “What’s happened for you?”. Trauma-informed approaches remind students that they are seen and supported, not judged.
- Celebrate diverse identities and stories: Representation in curriculum, displays, and classroom discussions communicates that every background and identity belongs.
When pupils feel safe, they do not just learn better – they thrive. They are more resilient, more engaged, and more able to take the healthy risks that learning demands.
Psychological Safety for Staff: The Heart of a Healthy School Culture
Teachers and school staff are the emotional climate-makers of a school. Yet education can be high-pressure, high-stakes, and emotionally demanding. When staff feel psychologically unsafe – afraid to admit mistakes, speak up about workload, or try new approaches – creativity and wellbeing suffer.
Building safety for staff means:
- Leadership that listens: School leaders set the tone by asking for honest feedback and responding constructively. Phrases like “What do you need?” or “What would make this better for you?” open doors.
- Permission to be human: Staff who can talk openly about stress, uncertainty, or failure model the same authenticity we want for students.
- Collaborative problem-solving: Rather than top-down directives, invite co-creation. Involve staff in shaping policies, curriculum, and wellbeing initiatives.
- Psychological safety in meetings: Encourage questions and divergent views without fear of reprisal. Recognise contributions and credit effort, not just outcomes.
A psychologically safe staff culture fuels innovation, trust, and retention. As one teacher put it: “When I know I am trusted, that I can speak honestly and still be respected, I do my best work.”
Psychological Safety for Parents and Carers: Strengthening the School-Home Partnership
Parents and carers are essential partners in children’s education. But they too need to feel that they can approach the school without fear of judgment or dismissal. When parents feel psychologically unsafe – worried they will be labelled as “difficult” or “uninvolved” – communication breaks down, and pupils lose out.
Ways to build parental safety:
- Welcome curiosity, not compliance: Encourage questions and conversations rather than expecting silent agreement.
- Make communication two-way: Use surveys, listening sessions, or informal coffee mornings where parents can speak freely.
- Acknowledge emotions: School issues can trigger strong feelings – about fairness, inclusion, or a child’s needs. A calm, empathic response goes a long way: “I can see this matters to you; let’s explore it together.”
- Be transparent: Clear explanations of decisions, policies, and next steps reduce uncertainty and build trust.
When parents feel valued as partners rather than judged as outsiders, collaboration deepens – and the child benefits most.
Practical Strategies for a Whole-School Approach
Creating psychological safety isn’t a one-off initiative – it is a cultural commitment. Here are some practical steps schools can take to embed it across the community:
- Set shared values and norms: Make “respect”, “listening”, and “learning from mistakes” explicit cultural pillars.
- Model it from the top: Leaders who admit their own learning moments signal that vulnerability is safe.
- Train for empathy and communication: Provide staff development on trauma-informed practice, restorative conversations, and active listening.
- Measure what matters: Use anonymous surveys or student voice groups to gauge how safe people feel – and act on the findings.
- Create visible reminders: Displays or messages around the school that celebrate kindness, courage, and belonging reinforce the norm.
The Payoff: Belonging, Growth, and Flourishing
When psychological safety is strong, schools transform. Pupils engage more deeply. Staff collaborate more freely. Parents and carers trust more fully. Challenges still arise – but they are faced with honesty and compassion, not fear or blame.
At its heart, psychological safety is about human connection. It is about creating the kind of school where everyone – whether they are five or fifty – feels that they matter, that their voice counts, and that they can grow without fear.
As one headteacher put it:
“We can’t expect children to take learning risks if the adults around them aren’t allowed to take emotional ones.”
So let’s build schools, colleges and trusts where everyone can speak up, be heard, and belong. Creating psychological safety is not a luxury – it is the foundation of a thriving school. When we get it right – for pupils, staff, and parents/ carers – trust, wellbeing and learning all manifest and become embedded in the culture.
ASPIRE: Creating a culture where everyone can flourish
Written by Michele Deeks
Michele Deeks is a psychologist whose passion is helping people to be at their best more of the time. She is a Director of Work Positive and co-creator of the At My Best product range.
There seems to be an ever-growing body of evidence suggesting that our education system simply isn’t working for many teachers or learners. From the All-Party Parliamentary Group for Education’s inquiry into the Loss of Love of Learning, through to reports showing unprecedented levels of staff stress and burnout, the challenges seem to be numerous.
It can be hard to know how to even begin to make things better. Something we can all influence, however, is the culture in our classrooms and institutions. Dr Sue Roffey, a psychologist and academic with extensive expertise in whole school wellbeing, has developed the ASPIRE model for flourishing cultures. The six principles in this model stimulate both discussion and action on what we can do day-to-day to enable everyone to be at their best.
In this video Sue talks to me about the ASPIRE model and its potential to transform staff and pupils’ experience of education.
https://vimeo.com/1140772098?fl=ip&fe=ec
ASPIRE is an acronym for Agency, Safety, Positivity, Inclusion, Respect and Equity. It is a model of culture that draws inspiration from developmental and child psychology, positive psychology and neuroscience as well as extensive education research and Dr Roffey’s own experience and practice in schools across the world.
So what does each principle look and feel like in practice?
Agency
Agency is about empowerment. Agency in the classroom is evident where every pupil recognises they have a voice and a choice. Where learners are active agents in their learning, where they are involved in shaping what happens in their classroom, recognising not only how they can influence their own experiences, but how they can positively impact their peers and teachers too.
Safety
A safe educational setting keeps everyone safe from physical harm and mental distress, but it goes beyond that – in a safe environment everyone is accepted for themselves; everyone feels able to make contributions and take risks without fearing punishment, blame or humiliation.
Positivity
A strong sense of positivity in the classroom isn’t about ignoring what’s wrong or being unrealistic about what’s possible, but about shifting the focus to what’s working well. It’s about creating a culture that values and encourages a positive mindset, positive emotions, strengths-based language and solution-focused actions. It is also about having fun together.
Inclusion
An inclusive environment is one that demonstrates appreciation of diversity in a way that encourages behaviours and practices that increase everyone’s sense of belonging. Inclusivity means celebrating each person’s unique place in the world and valuing our shared humanity. It is about ensuring that everyone feels they matter and can contribute.
Respect
Treating others in the way they prefer to be treated sits at the heart of the principle of respect. Where respect is embedded in an educational setting it’s evident the whole person is valued, hierarchical privilege is minimised and there’s thoughtful consideration for differences in perspectives, contexts, feelings and needs.
Equity
Strong themes of fairness and flexibility are evident in environments that prioritise equity, with a recognition and understanding that one size does not fit all. Different accommodations are made for different students and staff to enable everyone to achieve optimal levels of contribution and outcome.
Each of the six principles brings something different to a culture. It is challenging for staff and students to flourish when any are missing. The principles also interact, overlap and affirm each other with individual behaviours, routines and habits sometimes being indicative of several.
So how can we embed ASPIRE in practice? Dr Roffey argues that culture isn’t something that can be imposed – it’s a shared responsibility. It’s something that everyone within an education setting influences on a daily basis. Culture is made up of our daily behaviours and practices. If we’re looking to change ‘how we do things around here’ we need to work out what we need to be doing differently and what perhaps needs more emphasis. There is no particular principle of ASPIRE that you need to start with. Instead, it’s about starting where it makes sense in your setting, working collaboratively to explore what’s working well and identifying clear, tangible actions that you can take to make sure your culture is one where everyone can flourish.
Watch the webinar (46 mins) to hear Dr Roffey explain the background to the ASPIRE model and the newly launched ASPIRE Culture Cards.
“Third Space” Mentoring for Diverse Trainee Teachers
Written by Hannah Wilson
Founder and Director of the Belonging Effect (formerly Diverse Educators).
We can develop our beginner teachers to know their craft and know their subject, but where is the space to know themselves? Navigating teaching as a cisgender, heterosexual, able-bodied white woman meant I was often in the majority in most spaces I occupied in my early career. As I progressed in my career I experienced some sexism but on the whole I was left pretty unscathed, my identity was not something that came up.
Our friends at Now Teach have coined a layer of support/ piloted an approach called “Third Space” Mentoring where their career-changing trainee teachers receive triangulated support from a subject mentor, a professional mentor and a ‘3rd space’ mentor, someone with shared lived experience.
At the Belonging Effect we already support hundreds of ITTE and ECF providers through our DEIB training, coaching and consultancy, alongside hosting virtual annual conferences in January and June for each cohort. But, over the last few years we have been thinking and talking about this approach as a team and we have been considering how we can further support the development and retention of trainee and early career teachers who hold diverse identities and who come from marginalised communities.
For our BE team and for the ITTE and ECF providers we work with, we often get asked to support teachers who are struggling, not in the classroom, but in navigating their identity. The trainee is perhaps the only person with their identity in the cohort or in the school. There often is not a mentor in their school nor in their provider who shares their lived experience. One provider reached out for help and advice as they had a Muslim Asian Hijabi woman training to teach science, and she had been placed in a school with an all-male science department, with a male mentor. We provided a safe space for her to work with a mentor who looked like her, who understood her and could help her navigate the unique barriers she was facing.
So in a nutshell, “Third Space” mentoring involves creating a supportive environment where individuals can develop skills and find new perspectives. The space creates a pause between different roles and tasks, where a person can use the time to reflect, re-center and decompress. This neutral space enables collaboration and focuses on an individual’s holistic development. The safety of the space enables an exploration of authenticity and vulnerability, being guided by someone who has walked a similar path.
Through “Third Space” mentoring we can ensure that we are helping our trainees by triangulating their subject development, their professional development and their teacher identity development. Here is some helpful research from McIntyre and Hobson (2015) entitled: Supporting beginner teacher identity development: external mentors and the third space: McIntyre and Hobson 2015 pre-publication.pdf In it they cite a range of theoretical frameworks:
“While the concept of identity is understood and employed in different ways by different writers (Beijaard et al., 2004) and is problematic (Roth, 2008), our own conceptualisation is informed by poststructuralist accounts of identities as multi-layered, multifaceted, dynamic and constantly evolving or in continual flow (Hall, 2000; Gee, 2000; Hamilton, 2010). We also recognise that identity transmutations are linked to socio-contextual factors and to power (Lumby, 2009; Beauchamp and Thomas, 2009), a point which is especially apposite for understanding teacher identities, with some writers seeing these as particularly vulnerable, unstable and susceptible to school and national policy pressures and contexts (Lasky, 2005; Leaton Gray, 2006)”.
Why is this an important development?
- With an increased focus on DEIB and representation we know that ITTE and ECF providers are consciously trying to attract and recruit more diverse candidates so that our workforce better reflects the communities that we serve.
- We need to design more inclusive approaches and spaces to better support our trainees.
- We need to train our staff in our provider and hold to account the staff in our placement schools to do the work – to unlearn and to relearn, in order to fully commit to ensuring that our trainees can flourish and thrive.
How does it differ from conventional mentoring?
- The “Third Space” can be the transition between activities, a chance to pause and reflect, rather than the activity itself.
- It can also refer to a physical or metaphorical space that is neither home nor work, allowing for different kinds of interactions and collaborations.
- The “Third Space” can be a site of cultural hybridity, where new identities and perspectives are formed through the intersection of different cultures.
What are the key aspects of “Third Space” mentoring?
- Individualised support: Working with a dedicated coach/ mentor to develop your own program of inquiry and practice, supporting you in navigating life’s challenges and making lasting changes.
- Developmental support: Mentoring can help with specific issues like career direction, professional development, and learning new skills.
- Collaborative problem-solving: Creating a neutral space where people from different backgrounds can come together to share perspectives and find innovative solutions.
- Holistic approach: Focusing on helping individuals integrate their values and find balance in both their work and personal lives.
Are there some examples of how “Third Space” Mentoring can support, develop and retain diverse trainees?
- Age – we support career changes and those trainees who are shifting their professional identity from being the expert in one field to being the novice in another field.
- Disability – we support trainees who are neurodivergent in processing school life, in self-advocating for what they need whilst developing coping strategies.
- Parenthood – we support trainee parent-teachers in navigating their caring responsibilities and in managing their additional responsibilities.
- Race – we support trainee teachers who are racialised as being black and brown, in exploring their experiences and in considering the weight of representation.
- Sexuality – we support trainee teachers who are LGBT+ in ensuring their safety and in navigating any challenges they face with their community.
- Wellbeing – we support trainee teachers in building a toolkit of strategies to manage their own mental health and wellbeing.
How can we help?
- Would your trainee teachers and early career teachers benefit from an additional layer of mentoring as they navigate their way in the education profession?
- We have a brilliant team of experienced coaches and mentors who want to provide an extra layer of support, virtually, to your ITT trainees and possibly to your ECTs at your sibling providers too.
- We hope this will support trainees who are navigating their identity and lived experiences as they develop their professional identity, enabling them to flourish and thrive, to stay and succeed in the teaching profession.
- We are running another pilot of our “Third Space” DEIB Mentoring for ITTs and ECTs in Spring and Summer 2026.
How do we register our interest?
- The “Third Space” DEIB Mentoring for ITTs and ECTs pilot will run from January-July 2026.
- Your trainees can join a virtual mentoring circle for 4 x 1hr half-termly group sessions.
- Our Belonging Effect Associates will hold a safe virtual space for them and their peers to explore identity themes such as: age, disability, faith, menopause, mental health and wellbeing, neurodiversity, parenthood, race, sexuality and intersectional identities.
- Places are £200+VAT per participant.
- Fill in this Google form to express an interest: https://forms.gle/5dLN9fzQ8qBeaCvw9
- Contact Hannah@thebelongingeffect.co.uk to book places for your trainee and early career teachers.
How Do You Sleep at Night?
Written by Remi Atoyebi
Remi Atoyebi is an experienced Headteacher and ICF Certified Transformational and Leadership Coach. She is a contributor to The Headteachers’ Handbook and a mentor to over 50 school leaders across the UK. As a leader from a Global Majority background, she is passionate about inclusive leadership, psychological safety, and creating safe spaces for underrepresented voices.
It’s a question I’ve been asked more than once as a Headteacher; sometimes half-joking, other times with genuine curiosity. And it’s a fair question.
Headship is not a role you can switch off from at 5pm.
The decisions you make don’t just affect timetables or budgets, they affect children’s lives, families’ futures, and colleagues’ wellbeing.
The weight of it can follow you home and sit on your shoulders late into the night.
Budgets that don’t add up. Safeguarding concerns that keep you alert long after the working day has ended. Government directives that land with little warning and less thought through, for practicality. Staff who are stretched to their limits. Parents with understandable and sometimes impossible expectations. The list is endless.
Every single day, decisions land on your desk that don’t come with neat answers. Some are uncomfortable. Some are deeply personal. Some are triggering. Some weigh far heavier than others.
So how do I sleep at night?
For me, it always comes back to moral purpose.
Headship is full of noise. There are trends that come and go, policies that feel like they change with the seasons, performance tables that never tell the full story, and the ever-present pressure of the loudest voices in the room.
If you’re not careful, you can find yourself reacting to the noise instead of leading with clarity.
When the noise builds, I strip everything back to two simple questions:
- Does this decision serve our core purpose, or is it just noise?
- How will this decision impact the children?
These two questions have become my compass. They stop me being pulled off course by distraction or pressure, and they bring me back to why I stepped into leadership in the first place.
Of course, that doesn’t mean decisions become easy. Often, the morally purposeful choice is also the hardest one.
It might mean saying no to the “shiny” initiative that looks good on a glossy plan but adds very little to learning. Michael Fullan’s assertion about ‘proverbial Christmas Tree Schools’ comes to mind! Schools that look dazzling from the outside, covered in ornaments and trimmings, but when you step closer you realise the tree itself isn’t strong. The core business of learning has to be robust; otherwise, all the sparkle is just distraction.
It might mean investing in staff development or SEND provision, even if it means delaying something more visible to the outside world. It might mean having a difficult, face-to-face conversation with a colleague because the children deserve better, when it would be far easier to avoid the conflict.
It also means living with the discomfort that you won’t please everyone. Some will disagree with your choices. Some will even question your motives. That’s the nature of leadership.
And yes, I don’t always get it right. None of us do. Headship is messy. There are days I’ve looked back and wished I’d handled something differently. But I’ve learned this: I can sleep at night when I know my decisions were rooted in moral purpose. I can live with mistakes made for the right reasons.
What I couldn’t live with is drifting into decisions made out of convenience, fear, or the temptation to follow the crowd.
That’s the difference for me. That’s how I rest; by holding fast to the belief that our work is about the children in front of us, not the noise around us.
Because at the end of the day, headship isn’t about me. It’s about them; the children whose futures are shaped by the choices we make today.
So, if you are leading a school, a team, or even a classroom, I’d invite you to pause and reflect:
- What’s the yardstick you measure your decisions against?
- When the noise gets loud, what helps you stay anchored?
- And most importantly, how will today’s decision make life better for the pupils?
If we can answer these questions with honesty and courage, we will not only serve our children better, but we will also find our own peace of mind. Because when your choices are rooted in purpose, you really can put your head on the pillow at night and rest.
And that, for me, is the only way to do this job.
Beyond Burnout: A Leadership Framework for Wellbeing That Lasts
Written by Morgan Whitfield
Morgan Whitfield is an experienced senior leader and professional development consultant who advocates high-challenge learning. Morgan hails from Canada and has taken on such roles as Director of Teaching and Learning, Head of Sixth Form, Head of Humanities and Head of Scholars. Her book Gifted? The Shift to Enrichment, Challenge and Equity, reframed “gifted” education as a mandate to provide enrichment and challenge for all students. She is a passionate advocate for equity in education, a BSO inspector, radio show host and mother of three brilliant little ones. Morgan has worked with schools across the Middle East, Asia and the UK and currently lives in Vietnam.
As the academic year draws to a close, the school finally exhales. The corridors fall quiet, the calendar clears, and the pace begins to slow. After weeks of farewells, final reports, and frantic last meetings, we find ourselves in that strange stillness that follows a year lived at full speed.
It is often in this moment, when the adrenaline fades, that exhaustion catches up with us. For many educators, the end of term is not a time of celebration but of sheer survival. Burnout is not a new conversation in education. But it is a necessary one.
This year, I have been reflecting deeply on what it really means to see the wellbeing of our colleagues. Not just to discuss workload, have a yoga session or introduce a mindfulness app. But to truly notice, reach out, listen, and build the kind of trust that allows people to say when they are not okay.
Wellbeing is not a side project. It is the foundation of a thriving school culture.
Next academic year, I intend to embed this belief more intentionally into my leadership practice. This wellbeing framework is drawn from conversations with colleagues, coaching reflections, and lessons learned the hard way. Some of these actions are already part of how I lead. Others are areas I am actively working on. All are grounded in the kind of leadership I want to grow into.
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Leading with empathy and emotional intelligence
Empathy begins with presence. It is in the quiet pause after a difficult meeting, when I stay behind and ask someone how they are really doing. It is in recognising when a team member needs flexibility, not pressure. I try to stay attuned to how people are feeling and what might be unsaid. I want to respond not with assumption, but with understanding. I am also working to become more intentional about recognition, regularly pausing to acknowledge small wins and show appreciation. Next year, I want to make even more space for human-centred conversations, and to ensure equity drives not only what we do but how we do it.
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Being present, accessible and action-oriented
I have learned that presence is more than visibility. It is about showing up fully. I try to be there, at the door of a classroom, in the staffroom, or at a team meeting, with my attention undivided. I have become more conscious about setting aside time to listen, and I want to keep improving how I respond to feedback. Next year, we need to have more staff-led initiatives and co-designed solutions, and I have seen how much more sustainable change becomes when people feel they helped shape it. Going forward, I want to be more systematic in how I gather and act on voice, and ensure the ‘follow-through’ feels as visible as the listening.
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Communicating with clarity and sharing ownership
In a busy school, unclear communication adds unnecessary stress. I try to communicate as clearly and purposefully as I can, especially in briefings, strategy updates, or leadership meetings. But I know I still have room to grow here. Next year, I want to slow down and explain the ‘why’ more consistently, not just the ‘what’. I also want to keep improving how we invite staff voice at every level- not as a token gesture but as a core part of how we work. This means involving people earlier, making consultation processes more open, and building time into systems for shared thinking and collaborative planning.
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Building trust through connection and collaboration
Trust is built through consistent, respectful connection. I have seen the difference it makes when I show up in coaching conversations with genuine curiosity rather than judgment. When I take time to listen deeply in difficult moments. When I share vulnerability instead of hiding behind expertise. I want to do more to create spaces for collaboration across teams and roles, and to help people feel psychologically safe enough to speak openly, disagree productively, and show up fully. Trust, I am learning, is not built through grand gestures but in the quiet, daily actions of relational leadership.
A Hopeful Pause
For now, I am grateful for the pause of summer. For the chance to breathe, reflect, and recalibrate. I remain committed to returning with purpose, to help shape school cultures where people feel seen, valued and sustained. Our wellbeing matters, not only for ourselves, but for the young people we serve. Schools should be built on the foundation of empathy, respect, and heartfelt connection. When leadership is infused with genuine humanity, transformative change naturally follows.
A Leadership Framework for Wellbeing
- Lead with empathy and emotional intelligence
Leadership should be emotionally attuned, grounded in empathy and emotional awareness.
Decisions are made with understanding, not assumption.
People are recognised, celebrated, and treated as individuals, not just roles.
Human-centred decision-making is a priority. - Be present, accessible, and action-oriented
Leadership is visible, present, and willing to pause.
Feedback is a dialogue, actively invited and used to co-create solutions.
Input leads to action, with clear follow-through.
Diverse voices are included and valued in every stage of decision-making. - Communicate clearly and share ownership
Communication is honest, purposeful, and transparent.
The ‘why’ behind decisions is always shared, not just the ‘what’.
Clarity is prioritised to reduce ambiguity and confusion.
Staff are meaningfully involved in shaping the path forward. - Prioritise connection and trust
Support takes precedence over supervision.
Connection, collaboration, and trust are woven into leadership practice.
Safe spaces are created where staff can bring their whole selves to work.
Wellbeing is not an extra, but a foundational lens for leadership.
Resources:
Wellbeing is being seen, heard, valued and invited
https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1-8kWq-RrI44o7pFkfhbWExLe8FvcKbjIwO2RGmaOiJ0/edit?usp=sharing
The Hidden Wounds of Leadership: When Strength Becomes Survival
Written by Remi Atoyebi
Remi Atoyebi is an experienced Headteacher and ICF Certified Transformational and Leadership Coach. She is a contributor to The Headteachers’ Handbook and a mentor to over 50 school leaders across the UK. As a leader from a Global Majority background, she is passionate about inclusive leadership, psychological safety, and creating safe spaces for underrepresented voices.
As one of just a handful of leaders from a Global Majority background in the area I serve, I’ve had to do more than lead a school. I’ve had to build trust from the ground up, raise community aspirations, and create a sanctuary of belonging for children who had so often been left behind. Publicly, I was praised. Data climbed. Headlines followed. People saw progress.
But what they didn’t see was me.
They didn’t see the toll it took: emotionally, mentally, physically, to keep showing up, every single day, as the “strong one.” The “resilient” one. The one who could weather it all. Behind the applause, I was slowly falling apart.
As a Black woman in leadership, I became an expert at navigating systems that were never designed for me to thrive in. I wore the armour of excellence because I had no choice. I bore the weight of expectation, not just professionally, but culturally: the silent pressure to prove, to represent, to protect. I was leading a school, yes. But I was also holding up the dreams of my community, the pride of my family, and the unsaid duty to never falter.
Then one day, my body gave in. I was taken by ambulance from work to A&E. I had suffered a Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA): https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/transient-ischaemic-attack-tia/ and soon after, I was diagnosed with Post-traumatic stress disorder(PTSD): https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/overview/
These events were not from one tragic moment, but from the relentless drip-feed of stress, microaggressions, harassment, racial trauma, and systemic pressure that had compounded over years.
The trigger was one parent’s sustained harassment over two and a half years: sometimes emailing up to three times a day to make unnecessary demands, engaging in attention-seeking behaviours, inciting other parents, and making incessant reports to the Local Authority Designated Officer (LADO), Office for Standards in Education, Children’s Services and Skills (OFSTED), the Teacher Regulatory Agency (TRA), and the Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO).
I had been leading while bleeding.
This is what we don’t talk about enough. The unspoken cost of being the first. The only. The one expected to be everything to everyone. For many Black women in leadership, success often comes wrapped in loneliness. We carry the school, the staff, the children, their families and then we carry what no one else sees: the barbed comments, the subtle exclusions, the extra scrutiny.
Over time, I’ve come to name this for what it is…structural neglect. Not always overt. Not always intentional. But neglect nonetheless: of our wellbeing, our emotional safety, our humanity. Mental health services are not culturally competent. DEI work barely scratches the surface. And leadership frameworks rarely account for the invisible labour of navigating bias and battling stereotypes.
The Equality Act 2010 lists both Race and Disability as protected characteristics. But where was the protection when I was unravelling from the inside out? Where were the policies that acknowledged the trauma of ‘performing strength’ in the face of constant pressure? Where was the care for leaders like me?
And let’s talk about race and mental health. Black women are less likely to be referred for therapy, more likely to be misdiagnosed, more likely to go unheard. (https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/racism-and-mental-health/#HowRacismCanAffectYourMentalHealth).
In leadership, the expectation to remain poised and polished becomes a ‘prison’. We silence our needs just to be seen as competent and effective.
So, how do we disrupt this?
We start by telling the truth. We say out loud that leadership takes a toll. We give permission to ourselves and others to feel, to pause, to say “this is too much.”
We embed trauma-informed approaches not just for children, but for the adults in our schools, especially those living through racialised experiences. We make room for healing. For culturally competent therapy. For coaching that holds space rather than just drives outcomes.
We must let go of the myth that strength means silence, and in its place, we embrace a deeper truth that vulnerability is not weakness, it is wisdom. It is the path to healing, to connection and to lasting change.
I’m still healing. I’m still learning how to lead without sacrificing myself. Still untangling from a version of success that asked me to shrink, to be silent, to disappear. But no more. From here on, I will be leading differently: to protect my health, my wellbeing and ultimately, my life.
And if my story does anything, I hope it reminds someone, maybe you, that you are not alone. That leadership must never cost you your health. That you don’t have to break to belong and succeed.
Women of a certain age: The menopause at school
Written by Sarah Wordlaw
Sarah Wordlaw is a headteacher working in an inner-city South London primary school. She has successfully rewritten the curriculum in her school and is passionate about how teachers can use the curriculum to make the next generation better than us! She has led various subjects and areas of the school over her educational career and worked in many different capacities in a wide range of educational establishments. She identifies as a queer woman of mixed heritage and often felt unseen in taught subjects, both as a child and as an adult, which has fuelled her interest in diversity and inclusion.
Developing an anti-misogynist culture in your school starts from the top. There must be a commitment from leadership at all levels, and it must be threaded throughout all school practices and policies.
However, women remain under-represented within school leadership (Bergmann et al, 2022). In England, the school leadership characteristics and trends report (DfE, 2022) reveals that at primary level, 85% of primary teachers are female compared with 74% of headteachers.
Traditionally, notions of leadership are connected to perceptions of masculinity – having “strength” or “gravitas”. In reality, being a successful primary school leader requires someone who is both strong and vulnerable, someone who is driven and compassionate, someone who is commanding and empathic.
Female teachers are less likely to be promoted to headship or senior leadership than their male counterparts, and part-time teachers are 45% less likely than full-time to be promoted to both headship and even to middle leadership (DfE, 2022).
That being the case, I wonder if the reason we don’t talk about menopause as much as we should is because senior leadership teams can often be male-dominated.
Menopause in schools
Menopause is a significant time for women, usually occurring between the ages of 45 and 55. The menopause is defined as when a woman’s periods have stopped for at least 12 consecutive months.
The first step to take as a school leader is to understand what the menopause might involve for a colleague – and it is not just hot flushes!
A report from the Fawcett Society reminds us that that 84% of women describe the lack of sleep and 73% the brain fog that can come with the menopause as being difficult – this compared to 70% who said this about the hot flushes or night sweats; 69% say they experience difficulties with anxiety or depression due to menopause (Bazeley et al, 2022).
The report is cited in a recent Headteacher Update article written by employment law expert Kelly Rayner. In this piece – which is well worth a read, as indeed is the Fawcett Society report – we are also reminded that 8 in 10 women experiencing menopausal symptoms are in work and that 44% of women said their ability to work had been affected by the menopause, while 1 in 10 have left work due to menopause symptoms.
The National Education Union reminds us that the menopause is “an occupational health issue for women educators, as well as also being an equality issue” (NEU, 2025). Symptoms can include:
- Hot flushes or night sweats
- Heavy or light periods
- Headaches/brain fog
- Insomnia
- Urogenital issues
- Loss of confidence
- Low mood
- Poor or reduced concentration
- Anxiety and panic attacks
- Joint pain and muscular aches
However, despite the clear impact these symptoms might have on someone’s working life, sadly, the menopause is rarely mentioned in many workplaces, particularly when the leaders are male.
Women should be able to work in a supportive and understanding environment with reasonable adjustments made when going through menopause. The NEU offers a range of resources, including checklists for school leaders, posters to raise awareness, and a model school policy (see further information).
Practical issues
There are a number of practical questions that we can consider immediately. Drawing on the NEU’s advice, these include:
- Do you have a menopause policy and are all staff aware of it, especially line managers? Again, templates can be found via the NEU and The Key among others.
- Is the staff team “menopause-aware” – this will avoid female members of staff having to raise it as an individual issue?
- How do you ensure adequate ventilation in classrooms and staffrooms? Do staff have access to good temperature control for classrooms?
- Other simple provisions can include leaving doors open, ensuring that windows can be safely opened, access to fans, and fitting blinds to windows.
- What systems are in place for cover if a staff member needs to go to the bathroom or get a cold drink mid-lesson? Indeed, is there ready access to cold drinking water?
- Ensure you have sanitary products available in toilets – you could have a basket of a variety of different products in your women’s toilets
- What systems are in place to ensure swift permission for absence to attend menopause-related medical appointments.
The NEU advises leaders to support requests for flexibility, such as undertaking non-contact time at home or requests to reduce hours or change hours temporarily. Remember, offering cover in the short term is better than having to hire new staff members in the long term
Its advice for leaders states: “Give control to individual teachers and support staff over their immediate working environment – a clear message will empower staff and reduce requests to the leadership team.”
A positive culture
Your approach and your written menopause policy must create a culture in school which is positive. For example, supporting staff members experiencing difficulties helps to improve the wellbeing of staff, retains great and experienced teachers, reduces recruitment costs, and works towards gender equality. These are key messages.
Other advice for school leaders includes:
- Get to know your staff: Have regular catch-ups so you build trust and are in touch with how they are feeling and what they are experiencing.
- As the NEU advises above, give control to female staff over their immediate working environment – this is empowering
- Research and encourage access to support services locally. Many local authorities run menopause working groups for local government employees – make your whole staff team aware of this and offer cover if there were women who would like to attend the support meetings.
- Understand that every woman’s experience of the menopause is different. Build a supportive culture at work by having an open-door policy. Ensure a private conversation can take place if needs-be and make sure you follow-up and review any actions alongside agreed adjustments
Final thoughts
Having a menopause policy helps to develop gender equality in schools (and beyond) as it addresses the specific health needs of women going through menopause, which can impact work, potentially leading to unequal treatment and career progression disadvantages.
Further information & resources
Bazeley, Marren & Shepherd: Menopause and the Workplace, Fawcett Society, 2022: Click here
Bergmann, Alban Conto & Brossard: Increasing women’s representation in school leadership: A promising path towards improving learning, UNICEF Office of Research, 2022.
DfE: Transparency data: School leadership in England 2010 to 2020: Characteristics and trends, 2022: www.gov.uk/government/publications/school-leadership-in-england-2010-to-2020-characteristics-and-trends
NEU: Working through the menopause: Resources including template policy and school leader checklists: https://neu.org.uk/advice/equality/sex-and-gender-equality/working-through-menopause