Emotional Labour: Who Looks After the DEIB Leaders?
Written by Hannah Wilson
Founder and Director of the Belonging Effect (formerly Diverse Educators).
DEIB (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging) leaders are often positioned as the moral and emotional anchors of their organisations. They are asked to hold space for harm, advocate for systemic change, educate others, and respond to crises – frequently while navigating their own lived experiences of marginalisation.
Yet a critical question is often overlooked: who looks after them?
As organisations expand their DEIB commitments, many are failing to invest in the sustainability of the people doing this work. The result is a growing pattern of compassion fatigue, burnout, and attrition among DEIB leaders – costly not only to individuals, but to organisations themselves.
The Unique Load DEIB Leaders Carry
DEIB leadership is not just strategic or operational work – it is deeply relational and emotional. DEIB leaders are often:
- Exposed to repeated accounts of trauma and discrimination
- Expected to respond calmly to resistance, denial, or hostility
- Asked to educate while also advocating
- Share their lived-experience honestly, vulnerably and generously
- Positioned as both insiders and outsiders within organisations
- Hold responsibility without proportional authority or resourcing
This cumulative load is rarely acknowledged in job descriptions, performance metrics, or wellbeing strategies.
Compassion Fatigue Is Not a Personal Failing
Compassion fatigue occurs when sustained exposure to others’ distress depletes emotional and psychological resources. For DEIB leaders, this can show up as:
- Emotional exhaustion or numbness
- Reduced empathy or motivation
- Cynicism about organisational change
- Withdrawal from relationships or work
Importantly, compassion fatigue is not a lack of resilience or commitment. It is a predictable response to prolonged emotional labour without adequate support.
Burnout and the DEIB Attrition Problem
When compassion fatigue is left unaddressed, it often leads to burnout – characterised by exhaustion, detachment, and a sense of ineffectiveness. Many DEIB leaders respond by leaving their roles, shifting careers, or exiting organisations altogether.
This attrition creates a revolving door effect on the DEIB strategy:
- Knowledge and trust are lost
- Strategies stall or reset
- Work is redistributed to other leaders to carry even more load
Organisations then misdiagnose the issue as a “pipeline problem” rather than a care and support problem.
Coaching, Mentoring, and Supervision as Sources of Support
Supporting DEIB leaders requires intentional structures, not just wellness slogans.
Coaching: Provides a confidential space focused on leadership development, boundaries, decision-making, and navigating organisational complexity. Coaches can help DEIB leaders reconnect with agency and clarity.
Mentoring: Offers relational support and wisdom-sharing, particularly valuable when mentors have lived experience or have navigated similar organisational terrain. Mentoring reduces isolation and normalises challenges.
Supervision: Creates structured reflective space to process emotional impact, ethical dilemmas, and role strain. For DEIB leaders, supervision can be critical in preventing compassion fatigue and burnout.
These supports are not interchangeable – and ideally, DEIB leaders should have access to more than one.
What Organisations Need to Do Differently
If organisations are serious about DEIB, they must be equally serious about caring for the people leading it. This includes:
- Funding coaching, mentoring, and supervision as core role supports
- Normalising emotional labour as part of DEIB work
- Building realistic expectations and boundaries into roles
- Sharing responsibility for DEIB across leadership – not isolating it
- Measuring sustainability, not just activity
Care is not a “nice to have.” It is a strategic necessity.
Looking After the People Who Hold the Work
DEIB leaders are often asked to model empathy, courage, and humanity in systems that do not always return those qualities. If we want DEIB work to endure – rather than burn people out – we must shift from extraction to care, containment, and collective responsibility.
Looking after DEIB leaders is not separate from DEIB work. It is DEIB work.
Holding Space Without Burning Out: Understanding Compassion Fatigue and How We Safeguard Ourselves
Written by Hannah Wilson
Founder and Director of the Belonging Effect (formerly Diverse Educators).
In caring professions – and in deeply relational roles – holding space for others is sacred work. Whether you are a therapist, coach, nurse, social worker, teacher, spiritual leader, or simply the person everyone turns to in crisis, you are entrusted with stories that carry pain, trauma, grief, and vulnerability. But holding space comes at a cost if we do not tend to ourselves. Compassion fatigue is not a failure of resilience. It is often the natural consequence of caring deeply in the presence of trauma. And safeguarding ourselves is not selfish – it is ethical.
What Is Compassion Fatigue?
Compassion fatigue is the emotional and physical exhaustion that can develop when we are repeatedly exposed to others’ suffering. It is sometimes described as the “cost of caring.” Unlike burnout, which develops from chronic workplace stress and systemic pressures, compassion fatigue is closely tied to exposure to trauma – directly or indirectly. Over time, witnessing others’ pain can begin to shift our nervous system, our worldview, and even our sense of safety.
You may notice:
- Emotional numbness or irritability
- Difficulty concentrating
- A reduced sense of empathy
- Sleep disturbances
- Feeling overwhelmed or depleted
- Intrusive thoughts about clients or stories you have heard
For those working with trauma survivors, there is also the risk of vicarious trauma – a cumulative shift in our internal world as we absorb repeated accounts of trauma. This does not mean we are weak. It means we are human.
Trauma Exposure Changes the Nervous System
When we hold space for trauma, our nervous system is activated. Even if the trauma did not happen to us, our body often responds as if it were present. We may feel tightness in the chest, shallow breathing, or a subtle hypervigilance. Without intentional processing, these responses accumulate. Over time, the body may stay in a low-level stress response.
If we are not aware of this, we may:
- Over-identify with others’ pain
- Carry stories home with us
- Lose perspective
- Begin to feel helpless or hopeless
The more attuned we are, the more we are affected. This is why safeguarding ourselves must be woven into our professional practice – not treated as an afterthought.
Safeguard 1: Supervision Is Not Optional
Clinical supervision, reflective practice, or professional consultation is one of the most protective factors against compassion fatigue.
Supervision provides:
- A space to process emotional responses
- Containment for complex trauma material
- Ethical guidance and accountability
- Perspective when we feel stuck
- A reminder that we are not alone
Without supervision, helpers can become isolated in their internal processing. Isolation amplifies stress. Supervision is not a sign that we cannot cope. It is a commitment to sustainability and ethical care.
Safeguard 2: Structured Decompression
We cannot repeatedly hold intense emotional material and then immediately switch into “normal life” without impact. Decompression is the intentional act of transitioning your nervous system from holding space to rest and regulation.
This might include:
- A short walk after sessions
- Breathwork or grounding exercises
- Journaling to externalize what you are carrying
- Washing your hands as a symbolic reset
- Listening to music during the commute home
- Physical movement to release stored tension
Decompression rituals matter because they signal to the body: the work is done for now. Without this signal, the body continues to hold.
Safeguard 3: Trauma-Informed Self-Awareness
When we support others through trauma, our own unresolved experiences can be activated. This is not a flaw – it is part of being relational beings. But awareness is essential.
Ask yourself:
- What stories trigger me most strongly?
- Where do I feel this work in my body?
- Am I rescuing, over-functioning, or overextending?
- What feels harder lately?
Personal therapy, peer support, and reflective practice are powerful forms of safeguarding. We cannot ethically hold others’ trauma if we refuse to tend to our own.
Safeguard 4: Boundaries as Compassion
Boundaries are often misunderstood as distancing. In reality, they are what allow us to remain compassionate.
Healthy boundaries include:
- Clear session limits
- Defined availability
- Emotional differentiation (“This is not mine to carry”)
- Saying no when capacity is exceeded
Boundaries protect empathy from erosion. When we overextend, resentment follows. When resentment builds, compassion shrinks. Boundaries preserve our ability to care.
Safeguard 5: Rest Is Clinical
Rest is not indulgent. It is restorative. Sleep, play, connection, creativity, nature, laughter – these are not luxuries. They are protective factors against trauma exposure.
When we normalise exhaustion as “part of the job,” we risk normalising harm to ourselves. The quality of care we offer is directly linked to the state of our nervous system.
Sustainable Compassion
Holding space is courageous work. It requires presence, empathy, and the willingness to sit in discomfort without turning away. But sustainable compassion requires something equally important: self-protection.
We safeguard ourselves from compassion fatigue through five commitments:
- Supervision
- Decompression rituals
- Trauma-informed self-awareness
- Boundaries
- Rest
When we protect our nervous systems, we protect our ability to continue showing up. Compassion fatigue does not mean you are incapable. It means you care. And caring, when supported, can remain a powerful and sustainable force.
Putting student inclusion at the heart of Trust strategy: Why inclusion must be at the heart of Trust strategy
Written by Harriet Gill
Head of Trust Partnerships, No Isolation. Harriet works with multi-academy trusts (MATs) to explore the art of the possible around school attendance, supporting inclusive approaches that give all learners equal access to education despite today’s evolving social and educational challenges. At No Isolation, the creators of the AV1 telepresence robot, she helps MATs and their schools embed AV1 into attendance, inclusion, and SEND strategies, helping pupils unable to attend their lessons in person to stay connected to their school community.
In a recent TES article, Jack Mayhew, CEO of Learning Partners Academy Trust, highlighted the power of multi-phase, locally rooted trusts, where primary, secondary, special, and faith schools collaborate within a defined area. This approach creates continuity and a sense of belonging for pupils, particularly during key transitions.
For MAT leaders, this raises a crucial reflection: how intentionally are inclusion and belonging embedded in your trust’s design?
Belonging often fractures before attendance shows it
Research shows pupils frequently experience disconnection long before it appears in attendance data. Risk factors include:
- SEND or SEMH needs
- Socioeconomic disadvantage
- Racial or cultural marginalisation
Once belonging breaks, learning loss follows quickly. Inclusion, attendance, and culture are interconnected – different angles on the same challenge.
Sustaining belonging across phases
In our conversations with MAT leaders, multi-phase structures are seen as offering unique opportunities to act early, before small issues escalate:
- Pupils in Year 5 or 6 showing early signs of disengagement – struggling to get into school, attend assemblies, or engage in class – can be supported proactively.
- Sharing expertise across phases allows trust leaders to address these challenges with human-centred strategies, including small-group support or assistive technology, rather than waiting until they evolve into entrenched attendance or behavioural issues.
- This proactive approach maintains belonging, reduces future learning loss, and smooths transitions between schools.
When inclusion is strategy, not rescue
Southend-on-Sea City Council provides a powerful example:
- They invested in AV1 telepresence robots to keep pupils connected despite medical, emotional, or social barriers.
- 46 pupils used AV1 in 2021-22, 12 returned fully to school, and others reintegrated gradually.
Financial impact:
- Traditional 1:1 tutoring (~50 pupils): £850,000/year
- AV1 continuity support (~50 pupils): £23,000/year
This demonstrates a key insight: preventing disconnection is cheaper, more effective, and more child-centred than trying to rebuild engagement after it’s lost.
Implications for MAT leadership
Inclusion is not a service added on later – it is a system choice. Trust leaders might reflect on questions like:
- Are structures in place that allow expertise to flow across schools and phases, rather than sit in silos?
- Are attendance and engagement treated as strategic, preventative priorities, rather than reactive responses?
- Are technology-enabled approaches being leveraged to reach pupils in ways that feel natural to tech-native learners?
Multi-phase trusts offer a unique opportunity to act early, maintain belonging, and prevent the cascade of disengagement and learning loss, but only if leadership sees it as an intentional, trust-wide design responsibility.
A call to act
The evidence is clear: belonging breaks down before attendance does, and early, proactive interventions pay dividends in both engagement and cost.
Trust leaders have the chance to ask themselves:
- Where are the early signs of disconnection in my trust?
- How can we leverage multi-phase structures and technology to support these pupils before challenges escalate?
- What changes in trust design could make inclusion strategic rather than reactive?
Take the next step: For your free AV1 MAT consultation, contact Harriet Gill, Head of Trust Partnerships, at gill@noisolation.com. Explore how your trust could maintain pupil belonging, sustain engagement, and prevent disconnection before it becomes entrenched.
“When they try to deny us, resist with Shades of Bias!”
Written by Wayne Reid
Professional Officer & Social Worker
In recent years, the social work profession has made declarations of support for anti-discriminatory, anti-oppressive and anti-racist practice. However, circular conversations, intensive dialogue, never-ending searches for ‘evidence’ and performative actions ensure that a critical gap persists: a lack of tangible reforms and person-centred support in real-world professional settings. This is the void in which Shades of Bias was conceived – to help move us beyond repetitive rhetoric and towards meaningful action.
In a profession built on values and ethics, social workers often find themselves navigating the culture war minefields of bias – sometimes as victims/survivors, sometimes as observers/witnesses and sometimes (albeit unintentionally), as perpetrators or people responsible. Shades of Bias emerges not as a blunt instrument of blame or guilt, but as a structured, compassionate and forward-thinking innovation for critical thinking and scalable change.
What is Shades of Bias?
Shades of Bias is a pioneering and universal case study framework designed to enable critical reflection on how discrimination, oppression and racism manifests in social work and beyond. It is a simple process for documenting, analysing and addressing instances of bias, whether it is experienced directly, observed/witnessed or perpetrated (by the person/people responsible). Shades of Bias can be used by:
- Victims/survivors of discrimination, to articulate their experiences in a therapeutic and structured way
- Witnesses and observers, to reflect on incidents of bias they encounter and contribute to ethical practice
- Those responsible for bias, to engage in non-punitive reflection, learning, and personal growth
The framework has 3 pathways and one vision. It embraces intersectionality and is underpinned by the protected characteristics in the Equality Act 2010. Based on anti-discriminatory, anti-oppressive and anti-racist values and ethics, Shades of Bias helps to create a culture of accountability, inclusion, self-expression and systemic change.
Whether you are a victim/survivor, witness/observer, or person responsible for bias, Shades of Bias provides a psychologically safe structure to:
- Reveal the event or issue
- Reflect on its dynamics and impact
- Repair through learning, growth and accountability
A philosophical framework for reflection
At its core, Shades of Bias is a conscious rejection of ‘tick-box EDI’ and a bold call for social work to live up to its ethical mandate. It is grounded in anti-discriminatory, anti-oppressive and anti-racist values. However, it reaches beyond these to promote dignified empowerment and restorative learning. Shades of Bias is intentionally non-punitive – designed not to shame, but to enable growth, positive change and cultural competence. It recognises that progress depends not just on systems changing, but on individuals reflecting, learning and being brave enough to do better.
Shades of Bias is an adaptable, expansive and multidimensional framework for healing, self-examination and transformation across policy, practice and education. It provides:
- A safe space to document injustices and validate lived experiences
- A professional development tool that promotes ethical decision-making and inclusive practice
- A resource for institutions to use anonymised case studies to promote collective learning and inform organisational change
It is intended for Shades of Bias to become the standardised framework for documenting discrimination and exposing harmful systemic patterns that are often ignored.
Shades of Bias has the following self-explanatory sections:
- Case study title
- Background and context
- Nature of the incident
- How was the situation handled?
- Reflection and learning
- Reflection and learning (for the person/people responsible for bias)
Shades of Bias is available in multiple formats – PDF, Word, and as an online Microsoft Form – and is supported by detailed guidance.
Shades of Bias does not aim to replace regulation or formal policies/procedures – it offers an accessible middle space between silence and escalation. Its aim is to document harm, cultivate learning and disrupt harmful patterns – especially when more formal channels may be unresponsive.
Unlike many reports that merely outline problems or recommend solutions that are not implemented, Shades of Bias is a universal template developed by BASW England members and staff to document, analyse and support people in real-world scenarios.
Origins rooted in lived reality
Shades of Bias was co-developed and co-produced in response to a groundswell of concerns from Black and Global Majority BASW England members. It is the culmination of collective contributions from frontline practitioners and thought leaders from the Black and Ethnic Minority Professionals Symposium (BPS), Professional Capabilities and Development (PC & D) group, Anti Racist Movement (A.R.M), School of Shabs, BASW England and myself. The concerns raised include:
- Students facing racism during placements and academic experiences
- Practice educators encountering bias in assessment and supervisory contexts
- Newly Qualified Social Workers (NQSWs) struggling against institutional racism in recruitment, progression, and workplace culture
These concerns were escalated through BASW (British Association of Social Workers) and representations made to key stakeholders and partners, highlighting systemic racism in social work education, early career pathways and relevant regulatory frameworks.
Shades of Bias’s launch is timely. Its development coincided with the publication of The Child Safeguarding Review Panel “It’s Silent”: Race, racism and safeguarding children report, which highlighted a lack of accountability in addressing racism in safeguarding practices.
Importantly, Shades of Bias is informed by BASW’s Code of Ethics; Professional Capabilities Framework (PCF); the Local Government Association’s Standards for employers of social workers in England; Social Work England’s professional standards and the Social Care Workforce Race and Equality Standards (SC WRES). Also, it is a logical progression from the BASW England ‘Anti-racism in Social Work’ activities across the UK (between 27/05/20 – 26/09/21) report.
Shantel Thomas, founder of the award winning Anti-Racist Movement (A.R.M.), BPS member and key partner said: “Shades of Bias is more than a tool – it’s a bold declaration that lived experience matters, and that reflection is the first step towards action. As the A.R.M. collective, we are proud to stand behind this transformative framework, which empowers practitioners not only to reveal and reflect on harm, but to repair and rebuild with integrity. This is how we dismantle racism – from the inside out.”
Shabnam Ahmed MBE, founder of School of Shabs, BPS member and key partner said: “Shades of Bias is a transformative tool, powerful for both deep reflection and bold action. It empowers self-agency by giving voice to silenced experiences and challenging the minimisation of racism. True change demands bravery: to recognise that both courage and vulnerability can sit side by side. The discomfort is necessary for accountability. When we face these truths together, change and anti-racism becomes possible.”
More than just a template
Shades of Bias can be used to inform policy, practice and education, as follows:
- In policy, it can inform consultation responses and track systemic patterns of discrimination
- In practice, it serves as a supervision tool, a CPD mechanism and a reflective journal
- In education, it supports students and educators to explore bias meaningfully and sensitively
- It encourages multi-level perspectives and multi-disciplinary dialogue
Shades of Bias can be used:
- Individually for personal reflection, CPD or supervision
- Within teams to address group dynamics and organisational culture
- Across institutions as part of safeguarding, HR processes, whistleblowing or reflective learning
The section for people responsible for the bias supports individuals who have engaged in discriminatory, oppressive or racist actions/behaviours whether knowingly or unwittingly. It has a structured, non-punitive approach to reflection, helping individuals to take responsibility, learn and commit to anti-discriminatory, anti-oppressive and anti-racist practices.
The template encourages people responsible for bias to:
- Recognise and understand personal biases
- Acknowledge and address the harm they have caused
- Align themselves with professional ethics and regulatory expectations
- Contribute to a culture of self-honesty and transformative change
From seed to systemic
Social workers have shared the benefits of implementing and applying Shades of Bias:
- “We all have biases. It’s the human condition. Recognising them is what makes the difference.”
- “I love the guidance questions under each section because it helps me think and probe further into the situation. By the time I get to the reflection at the end, I have literally torn apart the entire situation and now, allows me to think beyond the situation. The fact that the case study is going to be used to “repair” gives me the motivation to complete this.”
- “The ideas are innovative and a pragmatic approach to seeking to achieve change. I can see how I could use it either in my role as a Practice Educator and/or when I take on Anti-Racism within the organisation. The Reveal>Reflect>Repair part is easily relatable too.”
- “I do feel it’s really positive and I could completely relate as a neuro diverse Black woman. Thank you I feel it’s a great resource and is easy to understand.”
- “I just wanted to say that Shades of Bias is a fantastic and ingenious idea! I am genuinely impressed with the depth and thoughtfulness that has gone into developing this framework.”
- “Shades of Bias is a fantastic initiative. This addresses an area often overlooked, as many instances of discrimination, particularly from managers towards social workers, result in disciplinary action but rarely focus on the underlying bias. The burden of proof unfortunately falls on the aggrieved party, who often belongs to the global majority. While this is a positive step, I still believe we need stronger action at the policy level.”
Shades of Bias helps to foster a culture of honesty, humility and hope – centred on the belief that accountability is not an accusation, but a duty of care and professionalism. It is a framework for all levels of the profession – from students and practitioners to senior leaders, from academics to policy influencers. Shades of Bias supports the profession’s evolving need for brave, psychologically safe spaces that honour complexity, intersectionality and human emotions.
What distinguishes Shades of Bias is its belief that transformation starts within. By confronting our blind spots, we move towards integrity and self-awareness. By documenting injustice, we can seed change. By embracing our discomfort, we honour the dignity of others.
Shades of Bias is not a one-off resource. It is a philosophy, a practice and a call to action. If widely adopted, it has the power to humanise systems, reimagine accountability and hardwire social justice into the fabric of social work and beyond. When bias is revealed and reflection is authentic, repair becomes possible.
“When they try to deny us, resist with Shades of Bias!”
‘One world, one race… the human race!’
Download the Shades of Bias case study template and the full suite of materials and templates today at: https://basw.co.uk/shades-bias.
Al-Anon and Alateen - for relatives and friends of alcoholics
Written by Sonia Elmer-Soman
Sonia Elmer-Soman has a background in both law and education. She is a qualified law lecturer and has many years’ experience working as a legal practitioner in two prestigious law firms in the City and now within a reputable law firm local to her home town in Essex. She is also a qualified primary school teacher and is a guest writer for professional journals.
Most of us have heard of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), but less well known about is Al-Anon and Alateen.
I met with Cheryl, a long-term member of Al-Anon, and she explains what Al-Anon and Alateen do, how they work and what impact they may have on the lives of members who are suffering from another’s problem drinking.
Q: What is the difference between AA, Al-Anon and Alateen?
A: Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a fellowship who come together from all walks of life and who share one common goal – to recover from alcoholism and achieve continued and sustained sobriety. Less well known about is Al-Anon (18+ adults) and Alateen (12-17 yr olds). Like AA, Al-Anon and Alateen are groups of men and women, of all faiths and walks of life, however this time with a focus on the person(s) affected by another’s alcoholism.
Q: Are there any entry requirements to joining Al-Anon and Alateen?
A: The only requirement is that you are suffering from the effects of another’s alcoholism.
Q: Are Al-Anon and Alateen a religious organisation?
A: No. Though “God” is referred to, it is a spiritual God, a higher power and everyone is free to define their own “higher power”. For some that may be a bird, a rose or the moon. For others it may be the group, prayer or meditation. For some the higher power may change over time.
Q: What does it cost to join?
A: Nothing. There are no fees associated with joining Al-Anon or Alateen. This is a non-profit organisation. Members are invited to make a donation towards room hire and/or literature at the end of the meeting. There is no requirement to contribute.
Q: Do the groups offer advice and/or counselling?
A: No. We are not trained therapists. “Let it begin with you” is an Al-Anon slogan which is the primary focus of the program. It suggests we shift the focus of our attention from the alcoholic in our lives to ourselves and begin living our own lives rather than interfering with theirs. The program offers a welcoming, friendly and confidential environment where group members understand in ways others cannot the difficulties we have experienced. We are free to speak of whatever is on our minds and we may share our experiences. Whilst the newcomer may need to offload a challenge or problem, most people find the focus naturally shifts away from the alcoholic and they start to gain insight into their own behaviour and how we may have contributed to our situation and how things may improve. We refrain from giving advice. There are many tools within the Al-Anon readings. Together we can find coping strategies to aid recovery of ourselves and to help us concentrate on our own wellbeing, behaviour, actions and reactions. Together we understand that we are powerless over alcoholism, that our lives have become unmanageable and we seek ways to assist our daily lives. We cannot control what the alcoholic does or does not do and we should not seek to change or control that which we cannot. Instead, we focus on the control we have over ourselves. We acknowledge that alcoholism is a disease and we develop understanding that, through our actions, we aid recovery of ourselves and, potentially, the alcoholic if we seek to change our own actions and feelings about the situation rather than focussing solely on the actions and feelings of the alcoholic.
Q: What do meetings typically involve?
A: A warm, friendly, non-judgemental welcome from a group of individuals who are going through or have gone through the same/or similar challenging journey as you. A cup of tea and a box of tissues are at the ready if needed. Each week a different topic is covered. This could be anything from ‘Resilience’ to ‘Hyper-vigilance’ to ‘Boundaries’ to name just three, but there are many more. We may do an inspirational reading for that topic and then offer up the table to anyone who would like to contribute either with a reading or with their thoughts or own personal experience which may or may not be related to the chosen topic. There may be shared experiences , but each member will have their own unique perspective. By keeping an open mind, you may hear something you can identify with, which may assist you to move forward. Newcomers often feel they have nothing helpful to share but often they provide golden nuggets that are incredibly beneficial to long-time members.
Q: Will the meetings help me and/or my family and the alcoholic?
A: We receive so much positive feedback. Al-Anon is about changing the actions and behaviours of ourselves rather than focussing on the alcoholic (as we have no control over the latter). Let it begin with us. These meetings might show us that ways in which we thought we were helping may have, in fact, negatively impacted potential recovery of ourselves and the alcoholic. In the absence of judgment, blame, guilt and shame, individuals feel free to openly discuss matters and often say they feel like a weight has been lifted when they leave the sessions.
Q: What is the minimum amount of sessions I should participate in?
A: It is completely up to the individual. We say it is best to go for at least six sessions, to learn how Al-Anon works and decide whether the program is for you. Sometimes it may not be the right time, but often people come back. There is no minimum or maximum term. Some individuals come for a few weeks, some dip in and dip out when convenient for themselves. Others have been attending for many years.
Q: Will what I say be treated in confidence?
A: Yes, anonymity is the foundation of Al-Anon. In order for everyone to feel safe, it is part of the ethos and ethics of the group that everything spoken about within the group stays in the group.
Q: What may be the benefits of joining Al-Anon and Alateen?
A: There is something hugely comforting in knowing that there are others, many others, out there who share the same challenging problems as you. Alcoholism is a family disease which affects the whole family. Young people attending Alateen meetings or adults attending Al-Anon in person or online, can see that they are not alone and that they did not cause the problem, neither are they responsible for their relative’s or friend’s drinking. Young people can benefit from sharing experiences with others of their own age and this often helps them understand their alcoholic relatives and recognise they are not to blame for the difficulties experienced with their home/families and could, in time, lessen the effects of having lived with alcoholism.
Q: Which one word would you use to describe Al-Anon and Alateen?
A: Insightful.
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Poor mental health and resulting drug or alcohol addiction spans generations and boundaries of socio-economic and cultural backgrounds. It is not a life-style choice. It is a disease which affects the whole family, relatives and friends.
For too many families in the UK, there remains a stigma associated with mental health and addiction issues. Guilt, shame, embarrassment and denial prevent sufferers and their families from seeking early intervention. All too often, without support, sufferers and their loved ones hide in plain sight and battle illness behind closed doors which leads to isolation, depression, anxiety and desperation.
Speaking with Cheryl and seeing first-hand the wonderful support offered to families and friends of alcoholics is heart-warming and fundamentally essential to the wellbeing of those affected.
Wherever possible, it is crucial that institutions such as the NHS, Education, Social Services, Addiction Services and the Criminal Justice System signpost this free service, so that families and friends of alcoholics can, if they so choose, access this vital service. The hope is that their voices are heard and their lived daily reality is understood. No longer should families and friends be isolated behind closed doors and remain the silent witnesses to addiction.
What one word would I use to sum up these groups? Empowerment.