What Do I Say Right Now?

“My parents told me to cross the road when I see a Black or Brown man.” “Can I say the word ‘Black’?” “I don’t think immigrants should come here.” “That’s gay.”

These are conversations I have heard over the last five years through my work with Still I Rise Voices. And increasingly, I hear another question underneath all of them:

“What do I say right now?”

Because our children are growing up in a world where conversations about race, migration, identity, gender, disability, culture and belonging are everywhere. They hear things at home. They see things online. They hear conversations in the playground. They absorb the language of adults around them. And sometimes they bring all of that into the classroom.

For teachers and educators, this can feel like a lot.

You are already carrying enormous responsibility. You are supporting children academically, emotionally and socially, often while navigating significant workload pressures.

The 2025 NASUWT Big Question Survey, which included more than 10,000 teachers across the UK, found that almost half of teachers – 48% – reported a substantial increase in workload over the previous year. Teachers reported working an average of 47 hours a week, including around 12 hours outside the school day. 

And in England, the picture is similarly difficult. Research commissioned by the Department for Education found that only 17% of teachers and leaders agreed that they had an acceptable workload in 2023.

So, when we talk about creating inclusive classrooms, we may need to acknowledge something important. Teachers cannot be expected to know everything. They cannot be expected to have all the language. All the answers. All the cultural knowledge. All the confidence. And all the time. That doesn’t mean these conversations aren’t important.

It means we need to give educators the tools and support to have them well. 

The Context is Changing

In Northern Ireland especially, the need for these conversations is not theoretical. Our classrooms are changing alongside our communities, and the wider environment children are growing up in matters.

The PSNI recorded 2,260 race-motivated incidents and 1,430 race-motivated crimes during 2025 – the highest 12-month level recorded since this data series began in 2004/05. 

The figures don’t tell us what every child is experiencing but they do tell us something about the environment around us.

And educators are often the adults who are expected to help children make sense of that environment. They may be the person a child turns to after hearing something racist. The person who notices that a child has stopped participating. The person who needs to challenge a stereotype without humiliating the child who repeated it. The person trying to support a child who feels different. The person wondering:

“Is this the right language?”

“Should I challenge this?”

“What if I make it worse?”

“What if a parent complains?”

“What if I don’t know enough?”

These questions don’t make you a bad educator. They make you human. We need to move away from fear

One of the things I have learned through working with more than 10,000 children and young people across Ireland and the UK is that the most powerful conversations don’t usually begin with having the perfect answer.

They begin with curiosity.

I have seen a Global Majority girl jump up when she recognised someone who looked like her in a book. Her whole face lit up. “She’s like me!”

I’ve seen a child proudly share parts of their culture with classmates after seeing a character wearing a hijab. I’ve heard teenagers express views about immigration that are uncomfortable to hear. I’ve heard children say, “That’s gay,” followed by laughter.

And these moments matter. Not because every child has suddenly become perfectly inclusive. But because we have an opportunity to pause. To ask:

Why do you think that?

Where did you hear that?

How might that make someone feel?

Is that actually true?

What could we say instead?

That is where learning happens. Not through shame. Not through humiliation. Not through pretending difficult things aren’t being said. But through conversation. Inclusion isn’t about having the perfect words.

I used to think change came through fighting. I fought hard for my mixed-race son and what he experienced in school. I fought against systems. I fought against language. 

But over time, I realised that there is another kind of work. The quieter work. The work of sitting together. Listening. Learning about our own biases. Understanding where someone is starting from. Having the conversation. Asking another question. Sharing another story. Changing one word. Opening one book. Helping one child feel seen. Because sometimes one moment can change how a child understands the world. And sometimes one moment can change how an adult understands a child.

So, What Do I Say Right Now?

That is exactly why I created “What Do I Say Right Now?”

It is a practical resource for teachers, educators, parents and anyone who wants to feel more confident navigating difficult conversations around inclusion.

Because sometimes we don’t need another lecture. We need somewhere to start. We need language. We need prompts. We need reassurance. We need to know that we are allowed to say: “I’m not sure, but let’s explore that together.”

There is something beautiful about correcting something without shaming a child. We can start to understand that having a conversation about race does not have to mean having the perfect vocabulary.

And we need somewhere to keep learning.

That is what I want to create through The Inclusion Lab – a hybrid learning platform and  trusted space for educators and people who care about creating more inclusive environments to keep learning, asking questions and building confidence.

Because inclusion isn’t a one-off training session. It isn’t a tick box. And it certainly isn’t about getting everything right all the time. It is a practice. A conversation.  A commitment. Little by little. Word by word. Story by story.

So, if you have ever found yourself thinking:

What do I say right now?

I’ve created something to help. Download your free copy of “What Do I Say Right Now?” and start with one conversation.

Because language changes things. Connection changes things. Stories change things. Voices change the world. Still We Rise.